Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “Do one thing that scares you each day.” Emily Pellegrini was the person who passed on this piece of wisdom to me, and though I do not seek out situations that scare me, they seem to come unexpectedly. Emily, I have always remembered this ever since you told it to me freshman year. It has provided many conquests, adventures, and memories – this is one of them.
As we stared into the twilight at the ruins, I felt transported to the ancient land of Narnia at the castle of Cair Paravel when Lucy, Susan, Edmond, and Peter returned to find their happy reign as Kings and Queens long gone and grass growing among their turrets. The gray stones cut long ago into rectangular bricks, now with rounded corners built the fragmented walls, which once surrounded this ancient monastery.
The Orthodox Serbian monastery, which used to stand up the hill from the Old Bridge, was destroyed during the war, because of hatred towards the Serbs. The area within the perimeter is mostly cleared so that the new construction of a Russian style church can be built, but the walls and piles of rubble and stones from the old building encircle the area, almost the size of a smaller soccer field.
The only parts of the monastery, which remain, are two huge square pillars, which held up the entryway, and formed the passage from the world into the hallowed passages and places of prayer. Now they stand holding up the entire vastness of the night sky, the countless number of stars, pinpoints of light in the encompassing blackness.
After school today, I came to Musala and invited Leah to go on a walk in the crisp air as the sky was darkening towards dusky blue, and the mountains were rimmed with pale pink and yellow. She has been working hard, like many second years, as they go through exams and turn in their final college applications and financial aid. Still at the beginning of second semester I am beginning to feel the urge, slight oppressiveness, but enthusiastic anticipation of the work that needs to be done in the next twelve months, then I too will be almost finished, just reviewing all the concepts and knowledge (what is knowledge Mr. Regan would ask) that I am learning now. We walked along Musala Street, then onto the cobblestones of old town, our feet directing us towards the Bridge.
At first we were talking about how this semester will progress, it seems like so much time on one hand, but on the other, it will pass by lightning. She said that when she was a first year she could not imagine UWCiM without her second years, and I agree the friendships and relationships that I have with my second years. Especially Leah, Nicolai, Srdjan, Isabelle, Mirwais, and Andy are wonderful; I really treasure them, the memories that we have and are making, and the impact that they have on my life. Though next Leah offered encouragement and told me that this has been even more amazing than last year, even though I cannot imagine it right now. She told me about a journal entry she wrote last year when they found out they would have three first year girls, she said that she really wanted a girl who she could bond with and be close to, that she would be able to support all of us, and that somebody would come who was a Christian as well as fun-loving. Then, she said that I was the answer to that request. I feel very honored, and I am so glad that she is my friend, my sister, my second year, a wonderful hug, a good laugh, and so many other things. When we just got back from our walk Yuly looked at us dressed up warmly in hats and scarves and laughed and said, “You guys are such sisters,” and then broke out into an Israeli song about sisters.
While standing on the old bridge Leah told me about one of the teachers last year, who told them to deeply explore the extent of their metaphors. It made me think about the river as life, and how it is always flowing, sometimes fast, sometimes slow, each at the right time. Right now I think that I am in a phase of more contemplation and thoughtfulness. Leah reminded me of something that I said to her near the beginning, I said that during the summer I am really social and enjoy being around a lot of people, and although that does not drastically change in the winter, subconsciously I tend to enjoy my quiet times, steaming cups of tea, and time with the people who are closest to my heart. Even without knowing it, that is the pattern that I am in right now. She reminded me of the saying, “water under the bridge.”
From the old bridge we wandered towards the bookstore, but it was closed, so for a moment we stopped and looked out over the crooked river and the small bridge. And then headed back the way that we originally came, but turned up some back alley stairs instead of continuing towards Musala. At the top of the stairs across a narrow road we continued to head up another set of derelict stairs and crossed the largest road through Mostar. On the other side stood a gated off road that rose fairly steeply upwards and curved. The sign in front showed an Ornate Orthodox Church, and from our knowledge of local Leah and I gathered that it was in the process of being built on the site of the old monastery. There was a hole under the fence, we looked at it, looked at each other, and decided to go for it.
We walked up the road, and the night became darker as we left the light of the road, it was a transition between two different parts of this world, the modernized system of transport and communication, and an antique symbol of religion, reverence, and respect. We sat and watched the lights of Mostar, listened to the ringing of the bells from the church, silence and darkness enveloping us in a sense of peace as my mind raced with thoughts, which slowly resided. Moments of complete quiet and peace are rare and I treasure them greatly.
Enjoy the small moments in life, allow time for spontaneity to happen, if you have to do something find something good about it, being cheerful is an outlook on life.
February 2nd, 2010
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